Birthday Reflections
🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈
Helloooooo 35! I’m writing this at the beach (where else!) after a wonderful morning of connection and bouncing around with my incredible community. I ran into Charlie on the way, and she remarked on her gratitude for my consistency in showing up — acknowledging that we all have things going on in our lives, including me, and yet I am always present and bring it. Juliette made a similar observation last week, and as I simmer with that feedback, I’m reminded that my experience teaching never ever feels one sided — it’s an exchange. I get so much out of every class beyond the fact that I have an obvious bias towards the playlist and movements offered. I get to be surrounded by an incredibly diverse, kind, thoughtful and interesting group of people whose energy is a KEY ingredient in what makes a class joyous, grounding, empowering, playful, etc. So yes, I have things going on in my life like everyone else that challenge and test me, but the role of teacher and guiding class and connecting with everyone pre, during and post is an immense gift that, no matter what I am going through, is supporting my healing journey…wipes away tiny tear of gratitude 🥹.
This has been such an enriching and revealing year. What’s the saying…when the student is ready, the teacher(s) appear(s)? Well, there have been teachers that have cracked me wide open, revealing opportunities for self-reflection and necessary upgrades to outdated programming, and there have also been teachers that have helped put me back together, stronger than before, like the Japanese pottery every Substack writer references at least once in their writing archive, Kintsugi. I am grateful for it all. This year asked me to practice honesty and vulnerability in my closest relationships. While I have felt like I’ve been turned inside out — exposing my struggles to those close to me, bracing for judgment or rejection (picture the last seen of The Subtance…okay not that bad, but you get the picture) — I’ve been met with love, patience, and so much compassion. And that has been capital H Healing. It’s also created space for more intimacy, because when you’re open about what you’re going through, it gives others permission to say ‘hey same’ or ‘oh yeah been there too’. And that theme of connection has been weaving its way throughout this past year in so many ways. I’ve gotten to know many students on a much deeper level, acquaintances have become good friends, I’ve bonded with so many amazing people over a mutual enthusiasm for joy, creativity and art, and my recent re-introduction to Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés (thanks to Shireen) has initiated a really nourishing journey of connecting to myself in a different way. I’ve been to so many shows, watched some incredible films, immersed myself in hours of intentional listening to albums shared by others, and danced my butt off with daily cathartic wiggles, a practice I’m certain is as supportive as therapy.
